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The Growing Season
~by NR Davis

The autumn season is now in full swing, and where I live, that means brilliant orange and red leaves, putting away summer clothes and taking out the sweaters, cider mills, college football and all is pageantry, feeling that nip in the air; and knowing that all of it is a precursor to the inevitable snow and cold that only a Midwestern winter can bring.

How the seasons change affects the psyche is certainly a topic that I have thought about in recent days past. Another summer has past (me by?) and now my mind is turned more into a harvest mode. All of the sowing of this growing season now reaps the harvest of this season.

And what have we sowed here on this board? Have we planted the seeds to our current and future happiness and health and enlightenment? Have we tended the fields and gardens of our minds and hearts this past growing season, so that we are now able and entitled to reap the rewards of our efforts?

Or have we neglected some or all of our duties and responsibilities? Have we not watered and fertilized the fields enough? Are the plants in our fields and gardens producing the yields that we would have hoped for, or may even need?

Or did we even neglect to plant the seeds?

In my case, I can say that this "growing season," this summer of 2000, I am only fairly pleased with my "yield". I did a requisite amount of planting, fertilizing, watering, yet I realize that I still have the weeds from previous seasons that I have not been entirely successful in purging from my (mind's) garden.

Possibly the best yield produced this year came as a result of planting the seeds of becoming a nonsmoker. It has now been over 100 days since those seeds were sowed, and the crop that has come up has been great. I can taste food again, I can breath clearly again (finally), and I save money too.

And what of the seeds sown by knowing this group of fine, recovering broken hearted folks? Well, I am certainly glad to have found this place, and to have planted the seeds to my recovery here. But my "yield" is slower to bring in from the fields. Way too slow for me.

Every day, I go out into the field of my mind, and bring in another small bale. I have been doing that for what seems like so long now, that I think unknowingly, my back and legs and shoulders have grown strong.

Every day I wake up, and I work on releasing the memory of one who has touched me profoundly, and is now gone. Every day I go through the moments of my life, practicing apathy, accepting the reality of my life as it is, accepting myself and my lot in life, and forgiving myself and the one who left me.

It seems as if I should now have a storehouse of goods to get me through the winter. Yet now, I do wonder if I will be the only one at my dinner table, enjoying the considerable fruits of my labors. I doubt that will be the case, because there are so many other hungry souls out here in the world. Certainly it will not be difficult to find others to share my bounty with, even if for a brief period of time.

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Soon, the leaves will be off the trees entirely. Nature will close up shop for while, and the big freeze will be upon here in the Midwest. But that only means a new season is around the corner, and that also means a time of renewal. It is now time to plant a winter crop to stabilize the fields for the winter. I think it is called winter wheat. It stops winter erosion, and even puts nutrients into the ground for next springs planting season.

Plant the seeds of this next growing season in your mind right now. How much better it will be to plant seeds of hopefulness, and forgiveness, and maybe even apathy. Who knows? In our own minds, some of these plantings may have extremely short growing times, and the harvests may be just around the corner.

Be sure to carefully choose which seeds you will now plant. Will you plant the seeds to your own unhappiness and pain, or your own happiness and contentment? Plant the seeds that will lead you to move forward in your life. Forget about the plants that did not yield the crop you had hoped for, and understand that an open field is now waiting for you to sow. Maybe when the crops are all in, we will all revel in our harvests together. We will have each brought in a new crop, and we can share a bit of our yield with each other.

Peace to all of you.

Neil

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