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The Pinnacle of Acceptance
by Neil R. Davis
(Lifted from the Brokenheartsville Break Up Support Message Board!)

It is a cloudy, chilly day here where I live. The past couple of days it has rained, and today it is drying out, thanks to a stiff north wind which is strafing the trees free of their remaining leaves.

I now look out of my window and see that most of the glorious gold and orange and amber and fire red leaves are now off of the trees. Most are now bare skeletons now, whipping in the wind, bare limbs shuddering in the breeze.

The call of winter is being heard by all of nature's plants. Soon, the landscape will be covered in a white blanket of frost, and snow. And time to break out the snow skis, the ice skates, and the snow shovel and sidewalk salt too.

Despite my love of summer, (I love being warm, and hate being cold), this time of year is so.......comforting. Odd that I would pick that word, but it is a comfortable feeling here, knowing that the change of seasons is upon us here, and that nothing or nobody can alter nature's plans. Change is right around the corner, and it reminds me of the seasons in our lives.

My last post was about embracing change, and this post is about the same thing, more or less. Change, when expected and then realized, is a comforting thing.

It is regular here in Michigan, I will say that. We expect fall, then winter, and then it happens. So I guess that when expectations of change are met, it is comforting, and even welcome.

Conversely, when we have expectations of things staying the same, and things staying static, and then they do change, we are definitely not comforted. We are shaken to our roots. We are thrown off our game, our mental states rebel, and we cope with it in different ways.

We cry, we yell, we plead, we ask for sympathy, we deny, we blame, we withdraw. We deal with unexpected change in so many other ways too, ways that are too numerous to be listed here.

All because we have not dealt with the simple fact that things have changed without our consent, without our having readied ourselves, without our having enough time to deal with things as they are, but rather how we want them to be.

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And I am sooooooo guilty of trying to mold reality to fit me and my circumstance, versus just accepting things as they really are and then molding myself and my circumstances to how things are.

Why do we make things so difficult on ourselves? Why do we swim upstream, against the swift river of reality? Why do we torture ourselves by fooling ourselves? Why do we constantly ask God in times of pain "Why? Why me Lord? What did I ever do?".

We do all of that for a very simple reason; we are imperfect beings. That's it. We make things difficult on ourselves because we are only human, and we want what we want. And when we are in that state, we ignore the reality of the world. We are wrong, of course, but we do it nonetheless.

How much better we feel when we say to ourselves "I am tired of ignoring the truth. Here is the reality of my situation...." Then, we become lighter, and we smile again, and we realize the truth that has been staring at us all along.

And we cry some more.

But eventually, we accept things as they are. And then we begin to grow, and mature, and change, and finally.....when you get to the very end of acknowledging reality.....you forgive.

And to get to the pinnacle of the acceptance of reality, to get to forgiveness.....of yourself, and of the person who has crushed your heart and your life.....to get to that level of forgiveness takes all of us time. A different amount of time for all of us. But time, nevertheless, is the ingredient for accepting reality, and for reaching the summit of forgiveness.

So....give yourself time. Time to accept the realities of your life, your heart, and your soul. Go slowly down the road of your journey. The rewards are many, but will only come to those willing to do the work, and to bring reality out of the dark and into the light.

And when you do that, a change will wash over you that is as expected as a harsh November wind. And like this crisp northern wind, it will feel good. Wonderful, actually.

You can all make it. You all HAVE to make it. Because I am not going to go on this journey by myself. I need some company, and since you are here and reading these words, you are going to have to join me.

That is my reality, and my expectations. What are yours?

Peace to all of you.

NR

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