Exes Are From Uranus!

There are easier things in life than understanding the mind of your ex.
Nailing Jell-o to a tree for instance.

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Your ex thinks your breakup is bad and good. You're bad and he/she is good.

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Courtship - A man pursuing a woman until she catches him

Breakup - A man catching a woman until she pursues him

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Relationships are when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

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Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity

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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

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"Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: "Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?" ~ Rita Rudner

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Exes are like guns, keep one around long enough and eventually you're going to want to shoot it.

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FACT: Mrs. Caroline Squires of Cincinnati filed for a divorce from her husband in 1949 on grounds of desertion. She testified he'd stepped out "for a beer" on the Fourth of July, 1917, and had never come back.

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LIFESAVERS

A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their eyes closed, they would feel objects from pumice stones to pine cones and smell aromatic herbs and exotic fruits. Then one day, the teacher brought in a great variety of lifesavers, more flavors than you could ever imagine.

"Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these," announced the teacher. Without difficulty, they managed to identify the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher had them put honey flavored lifesavers in their mouths, every one of the children was stumped.

"I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something your Daddy and Mommy probably call each other all the time."

Instantly, one of the children spat the lifesaver out of his mouth and shouted, "Spit 'em out, you guys, they're assholes!"

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"A broken heart is what makes life so wonderful five years later, when you see the guy in an elevator and he is fat and smoking a cigar and saying 'Long Time, No See.' " ~Phyllis Battelle

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I don't want to say my ex was frigid...

But every time she opened her legs, the lights came on.

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Read the  Top 20 Ways to Get Your Ex to Move Out.

How to Get Rid of Your Live-in GF/Wife!

How to Get Rid of Your Live-in BF/Husband!

For Women! Signs that the romance has gone from your relationship.

What stage of dating are you in? Recognize them here.

The  "ABC's" of Ex-Wives.

The Top 16 Worst Breakup Excuses

A man's view of relationships, before and after.

What I Have Learned

The 9 Types of Boyfriends / Girlfriends

MUST SEE! Just For Fun Women's Page

MUST SEE! Just For Fun Men's Page

MY PLANET OF THE EXES DISCLAIMER!!!!!

Why Women Dump Men: Forget What She Told You - Find Out the Real Reason Why You Were Dumped!

  • Have you ever wondered why your ex dumped you?
  • Want to know what you did wrong?
  • Want to stop future breakups, or learn why you've been dumped in the past?
  • Want to be the type of man women don't leave?

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