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The Top 16 Worst Breakup Excuses
"Ow... I banged my head! That really hurt!
Hey... who are YOU?"
15> "I'm sorry, but
there just isn't room in my
life right now for both you and my vibrator."
14> "I've got this
disease... it's called herpigonasyphalaids.
13> "You're too young
for me. I mean, too *old*. We're the same age?
Well, that doesn't work for me, either."
12> "We're just so
different, you and I. You're an extrovert, I'm an introvert.
I like classical, you like heavy metal. And of course *I'm* not a physically
repulsive raving psychopath."
11> "You've gone from 'sponge-worthy' to merely 'spongy.'"
10> "Dear Christine: By the time you read this I'll be a woman..."
9> "I have early-onset onanism."
8> "You're no longer
the wealthy, gullible, and desperately
lonely man I fell in love with."
7> "My penis, uh,
fell off, and I, er, lost it...
yeah -- on the subway, I think."
6> "Less filling?
LESS FILLING??? I don't even
know who you ARE anymore!"
5> "My dog is having
puppies and I need to take a year
off in order to train them to attack your picture."
4> "It's not *you*, it's me. Specifically, me would like to sleep with your sister."
3> "I had lunch at
the Hunan Palace today and according to
the place mat, you're a snake and I'm a mongoose."
2> "We just don't
have anything in common anymore -- you're
a morning person, and I want to see your
severed head impaled on a steel railroad spike."
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Worst Breakup Excuse...
1> "I'm holding you back from all the other lives you could be ruining."
Thank you Chris White!
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]